Stupid Hearts
by Kuromai
Summary: Because, really, who was the idiot that translated "Love" into "Hearts"? Valentine's Day Oneshot. Akuroku


**Disclaimer**: Disclaimed.

...Yep. It's a one shot. A very short one shot, but hey, it's probably the longest fanfiction snippet I've written and can be posted without any further back story nessesary. And I kinda wanted to put something up for Valentine's Day, so. ...Here you are.

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The blond scowled at the shiny heart-shaped piece of cardboard in his hands, shaking it once to hear the chocolate unsettle inside. He discreetly slipped a finger in and wormed it about before latching onto a piece and drawing it back out. He popped it in like he had pulled out some gum and waved kindly to the cashier, who smiled back.

Heh. Now some poor sap would rush in a little after five, after work and before going home to expectant lover, grab the first box he sees, throw money at the cashier and proclaim his undying, never-forgetful love- opening the box to find the little pieces upturned, pawed through, and a couple missing. Hmm. He almost pitied the poor lover, for having to deal with such a knucklehead, but compassion was something he enjoyed pretending he didn't have.

Well, technically, he didn't have compassion. Or love. Or hate, or amusement, or sorrow so the Superior claimed. It was undeniable- Nobodies didn't have hearts. It wasn't something up for debate. Physically, they lacked a beating core that pushed blood through their bodies- that phenomenon just kinda happened. They had proved that fact once and for all when Marluxia pushed Vexen over the edge and got it OK'd with the Superior to perform open-heart surgery on the man. Alas, there was no heart to dissect, so the Graceful Assassin got off with only a good dozen stitches in his chest.

But who said that feelings rested with the heart? Granted, the saying is always "His heart leapt" or "his pulse increased rapidly" or whatever, but that just meant it came from the center of the person- or nobody- that was feeling such. You could argue with Roxas all day, dear readers, about if he could really feel, or if he was just tricking himself. But in this story, he would simply argue that what made you feel- your head, or your heart? Your heart wasn't the one making you have wet fantasies about that one kid a few rooms over, that was for sure.

So it was this connection between love and hearts that always put Roxas in a bad mood when it came to St. Valentines Day. Bright red and pink balloons, streamers, boxes, candy... anything and everything that could be formed into a heart was, and was proudly littering his favorite store in Twilight Town. He had planned to protest either with riot or civil disobedience, but Axel refused to let his boyfriend sit outside on the bench while he stocked up on supplies for the party at Kairi's that night.

Which left the blond glaring at a stack of heart-shaped chocolate boxes, quietly fuming while the redhead happily danced about the store getting this and that, blissfully ignorant to the hate beams being fired off not too far away from his person.

"'Tops off any perfect gift', eh?" Axel smiled as he read the label aloud for a small box of Sweethearts. "Hey Rox, you wouldn't happen to-?"

"No," Roxas deadpanned. His hand twitched toward the stack of boxes, trying to reason why he shouldn't topple the thing over.

The redhead frowned. "But you don't even-"

"You were either going to ask me if I liked candy hearts, which I don't, ask me for money, which I'm not giving to you, or say something that only your perverted mind could come up with via the help of a little pink box."

He smirked. "You know me too well."

"I only narrowed it down to three out of the four things you've been asking me lately," the shorter teen said with a roll of his eyes. Axel's smirk only grew wider, abandoning the candy and wrapping his lanky arms around the boy's waist.

"Still haven't figured out my plan yet?" he whispered huskily, tugging the boy close. "I don't think you have. That's why you're so... frustrated," he mused, nibbling on his earlobe. He whined quietly as Roxas batted a hand at his face.

"Not exactly, Axel," Roxas replied, loosening the arms around his waist so he could turn to face him. The cashier promptly twisted and realized she needed something from the back room. Like a camera. The blond frowned. "You know I don't want to do anything today, especially not Kairi's little party... thing. She knows how much I hate V-Day too. Besides, we're going to be the only Nobodies there."

"What, you're worried about social groups?" Axel mused, laughing. "Nah, Nam's going to be there. Dem said he might try to make it too, but he's not sure if he can force Zexion anywhere tonight." He shrugged. "Besides, it's not a big deal. We're cool with them now, and Sora is definitely not one to let his other half feel depressed."

Roxas couldn't help but smile at the mention of his other. Sora had always been a good friend to him, and a worthy adversary. He also had this way of always making everything better. But, he supposed, you couldn't really expect much less from the Key to Light.

Noting the change of disposition, Axel leaned in closer, planting a small kiss on the tip of Roxas's nose. "So?" he smiled. "Will you go?"

Roxas sighed in defeat. "Fine. But no chocolate hearts, okay?"

Axel beamed, hugging his boyfriend tightly before finally releasing him. "Fine."

The blond cocked a wary eyebrow. "Promise?"

"Promise. P-r-o-m-i-s-e," he spelled, finger swaying in time with each letter as he said it. "Got it memorized?"

"Duly noted." Roxas rolled his eyes again, but the smile didn't fall from his face. Axel bounded off to finish shopping just as the disappointed cashier came back into view, leaving Roxas to finger another chocolate out of the box.

It might be an obnoxious holiday, sure, but Roxas decided it did have some damn good chocolate.

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-Kuromai


End file.
